Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
