i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
