Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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