he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
