so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize