dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Randomize
