I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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