I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
