i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
