Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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