So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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