Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
