Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
