What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
