I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
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