glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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