Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
