loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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