saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
