Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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