i just wanna soil my oats bro
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
