Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
