I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
