I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I pour the whiskey from now on
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