Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
