dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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