white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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