i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
