Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
