Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
