You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
