i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
