I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
