you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
