i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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