You work out of a Hotel?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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