It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
