If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
