Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
