Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Dual....:-)
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
