Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
