get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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