I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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