if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
