you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
