I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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