The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
there is puke in my bra ... again
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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