I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
