soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
