Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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