The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
