Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
