Pappa wants mamma naked
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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