Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
