bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
