I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
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