i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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