he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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