this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
is that a dick in a sweater?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
