I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Randomize
